Failing to achieve this and with his liver in a sling, he triumphantly returned to London where he was hailed as a nobody. Eager to disprove the concept of deep-fried mars bars as a myth, he skedaddled to Scotland, directing and starring in "Beauty and the Beast", "Aladdin" (don't tell Disney) and "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe". London was now ready to give him a job and the West End is still recovering. Leading roles in hit productions of "Ay Carmella", "The Bard's Celtic Tragedy", "Romeo and Juliet"  and numerous appearances on BBC Television had Simon on the brink of British stardom, so he did what any sane person would do and fled to America. Successes at The Orlando International Fringe Festival, including directing John Godber's "Shakers" precluded him from performing at Disney. Fortunately, they thought he was somebody else and hired him for a myriad of shows including "The Hunchback of Notre Dame", '"Jedi Training Academy", "The Adventurer's Club", and he can currently be seen dismantling the aspirations of fledgling singers as a judge at "The American Idol Experience". Luckily Mr. Mouse doesn't watch television so Simon was able to moonlight in "Sheena", "Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector" and "Burn Notice". Simon wishes to thank everybody who knows he is doing this, with his greatest gratitude going to Yvonne for nothing in particular but everything in general.